Insomnia

I can't get no sleep...
I need to sleep..
I can't get no sleep...

Couldn't find a more fitting song and that too by Faithless!!! lolz

Sleep comes at a price..costs £2.75 from Boots :) lolz.. will keep popping the pills till my body becomes immune to it and then I guess will have to move to something stronger but I am hoping by that time my insomnia will be cured ..lets see....

Apathy

hmmm..there is a reason I prefer the company of my laptop to humans..atleast with machines I know NOT to have expectations..humans on the other hand have left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe the fault doesn't lie with them..maybe the blame lies with me..to expect that when someone takes God as his witness he means it..when he says forever what he really means is not even a year :P Silly me to think that someone would actually find me worth fighting for....what do I have to offer anyways? Complete and utter devoution and love? heck...even a dog would do that so might as well that instead of me..atleast the dog wont think or talk :P

Sorting out my divorce..life is such a mess..i wish life could come with a remote...where i could just erase all the pain and suffering and move on..easier said than done but hey there is always death to end the suffering..if only I was an atheist *sigh*...

zzzZZZZZZZZzzzzz

Hum kou pyar hai
Tou yeh khumar hai...

I cant even remember the last time I heard this song from Moshka..pathetic movie made bearable thanks to Arjun Rampal..not up for much work but hey just because I happen to be suffering from depression doesnt mean that the bills will get paid by themselves (Are u listening Allah(swt)? ) :P

Right back to ASP.NET *pout*

Mundane Monday

I went to bed last night dreaming about brie and grape pannini (yes I am one of those weird people who actually dream about food :P ) so when I did wake up I had the best of intentions of making myself one but I go down to the kitchen..look at all the fruit and yogurt and decide that what I really DID want was a big bowl of lemon and cheesecake yogurt with apples and bananas and lets not forget the ritual intake of caffeine *grin*

It's back to work tomorrow so I really need to clean my room and maybe start reading the books I am meant to be reading :)














Oh yeah mom is moving to Bristol for good so I need to visit her as well..its my 28th birthday on the 5th of September and she wants me to come down and stay with her and my brat sisters and brother but I am not sure if I want to be around people or would I rather sulk and research on the best way to prevent wrinkles..lolz..yes obsessed with having the perfect skin despite knowing that growing old is inevitable and wrinkles are part of it..hey maybe I could program my mind into thinking that they add *character* to one's personality..I guess that would save me 100's of pounds I spend on my skincare products.

Speaking of skincare I need to go to Lush!!!! My Ocean Salt scrub has run out and even though I whine about wrinkles I still get pimples thanks to the oily skin I have (which reminds me I wont be getting wrinkles for a verrrrrrrrrry long time and that also explains why no one believes I am 27 when I tell them :P ) I guess having a baby face also helps ..lolzz

I have updated my wish list..the *new* thing that I *WANT* ..no make it NEED is a Tablet PC..laptops are soo past the expiry date..top reason for wanting one is because it will make me feel like a certified geek..I can scribble and make mind maps and unleash the artsy fartsy person hidden deep within me(yeah right ..it will be more like doodling but hey it will still be cool :P )

I think I am going to buy myself a Balenciaga handbag as a birthday present :) Yes I am sad..i dont have husband/boyfriend to get me one and since I am bored of my Gucci and Dior bag I think its time to update my bag collection(now this probably means I wont have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month but who cares..I will still be happy...fashion does come at a price) lolz..I can just imagine the fundamentalists screaming at this point saying
"Haram..it is haram to buy bags...u are following the SHAAITAN. You are a slave of the West and fashion. Astaghfirullah. Good women dont do these things. Good women wrap themselves in black chadars and nod at everything a man tells them".. gotta love these people dont u think? haven't got anything better to do with their times or with their lives so decide the best way to feel important is by telling people everything they do is wrong..self-righteous , self-obssessed, bunch of misguided people ..yes as u can see not a big fan of the so called *religious* people...I am sure if they had their way women would be locked up(ofcourse good sisters would LOVE that anyways..afterall... women are all about modesty and SHOULD listen to men..gift of Allah(swt) to women-kind *rolling eyes*

Right better clean the room now and I think I need another cup of coffee..I am still grouchy.lolz!

Down with .NET documentation

I have to give it to the Richmond people..they write first class software (no this is not open for debate..I am not going to get into an argument over how Open source is for reall geeks and .NET is for wimps)but I really think they should fire the people who do the documentation :)

I mean come on when was the last time MSDN website *inspired* me to write some code huh??? Lemme think...NEVER (and trust me I am a huuuuuuuugee fan of Microsoft despite the fact that I am not on their payroll *wink*)

I am a not a big Java lover(only when it comes to coffee..nothing to do with the language though) but every time I pick up a Java book I get this strong itch to write some code...they MAKE u want to write beautiful and elegant code...I dont know what the Sun people feed them or maybe their is some magic potion but the authours can write the way programming books are meant to be written. Not 100's of pages of boring stuff that could act as a cure to insomnia but funny stuff..things that make u laugh and think at the same time..full of cute pictures ..lolz (yes the girly side kicking in). I bet Microsoft could afford to *hire* these people and do the same for them but why should they bother...80% of the world PC'S run Windows so they assume those who want to code will learn either ways ..why BOTHER!!!

Anyways I think I am going to make an attempt at writing myself (uh ohhhhhh)...i will publish things I am going to be learning for my MCSD and make it interesting so others who are new to .NET can UNDERSTAND rather than get cofused by topics like Refleciton, Attributes, Remoting , Generics, etc :)

Good luck to moi...happy programming!

To program or not to program : That is the question

Hmm..well the day started with good intentions and a loooong to-do list but I should have known if i was to achieve even ONE task out of the ones listed I would have been lucky..afterall it was a holiday today *grin*

I guess my dreams of becoming the AJAX guru will have to wait till Tuesday but i really need to get my head sorted for the damned MCSD :( I dont know where to start from (actually I do know where to start from..the damn book I got off amazon :P )

Well i have just finished watching Shrek 2 and although i love the movie i just hate happy endings...it doesnt happen in real life..there are no happy endings *humph* lolz...

Thank God for the long weekend.

Usually this time on sunday evenings I start hyper-ventilating at the thought of going back to work (I think I am garfield..i hate mondays..no wait that is not true..i hate every day that I have to wake up early :P lolz) I guess that makes me a lazy bum but hey there is nothing wrong with being one now is there. I personally think that geniuses work best when they are left on their own and not shackled by deadlines and time constraints.

I wish there was a way by which I could tell my brain to *perform* 9:00 clock in the morning but sadly there is none and although caffiene is the glue that holds me together I think years and years of abuse has left my body immune to stimulants..maybe its time to try something stronger ;) lol

Btw I have a throbbing headache and it refuses to go away..I am not sure as to WHY i have one but its seriously affecting my ability to concentrate..maybe I should go and take some panadol and make myself a cup of tea *thinking*

Right I shall be back ONCE the headache has disappeared :-)